Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
