i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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