I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
