maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
