somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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