I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
