Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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