well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
