Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
