so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed š
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I really regret not asking ālike a cupcakeā when you asked me to eat your ass
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
