He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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