you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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