on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
