I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
