grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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