I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
