i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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