What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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