Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
