i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
