is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
