Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
