We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
