yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
