So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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