I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
