"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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