Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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