The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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