Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
