Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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