May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
