Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
