he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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