it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
