i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
