So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
