actually, I'm a sock model
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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