Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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