Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize