I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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