I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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