The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
