she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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