You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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