Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
