I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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