You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
