Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
