i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
