Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
