just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
