I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize