i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize