Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
