There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
