Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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