at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
