We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
