She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
