You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
