Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
