oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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