her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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