I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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