Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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