you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
how does that bad decision feel?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
