Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
